Saturday, May 12, 2012

ugly robe revisited

The sun is spilling through the windows as I type this, beckoning me outside. My garden awaits, but I just need to get a few thoughts out before I join it...

Perhaps the storm has passed, perhaps it's just hiding behind some mountain I don't know about yet. I couldn't say; this is one week that words really don't seem to get close to capturing what's going on inside. If anything has been consistent it's been the feeling of walking through a haze. 

What I do know is that I've now entered uncharted waters. The last year, in fact, has been a lot of learnings and lessons - some welcome, many not - and so for a lot of it I've had to make it up as I go.

This past week really tested me. I've been saying to those in my life that we can't move through difficulties unless we face them honestly, but damn is that a hard thing to do when it's your own pain and loss you are facing. Still, I know that looking "it" straight in the (metaphorical) eye is all I've got, so that's what I am going to try to do.

In the meantime, I remembered something crucial:

I started this project to try new things, take bold risks, clear away clutter & baggage, and welcome the good into my life. I think I have been doing a decent job at it, but this past week made me realize it's really time for me to get serious.

It's time for me to buy that robe. Otherwise, what sort of hypocrite am I?

Did you think it was going to be something more monumental than that? Sorry to disappoint...

I said goodbye to my ugly robe months ago, but it's time for me to get serious about saying hello to the nice things that are possible in my life too...including a new, not ugly, robe.

my door awaits a robe

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